I want it,but I'm scared

[F3ar_bellx]

hi,im a 18 year old virgin and ive been seeing someone that has more experince in sex than i do...and lastly he has been asking to eat me out..but im scared not because i dont want it,but because i dont know what he will think once he sees it.. but yes we have been getting a little freaky mostly just him fingering me and i sometimes jerk him off and stuff but i keep on saying no about letting him eat me out..my skin isnt very perfect just because i do have some places in my body that are more darker than my pale-tan skin and ive been tried to find soap and things to help me with the dark spots in my skin but it doesnt really help like mostly in between my legs from fabric being rubbed againt my skin and making it red and then dark especially when i wear short skirts or short its even worse and ive been every careful and always being lotion or any type of cream to make my inner thighs more smooth to not rub a lot..im just mkstly scared what he will think and see that my skin isnt the samek as the rest of my body...

[Latha]

Hello and welcome to the boards, F3ar_bellx!

You know, your skin does not have to be the same tone everywhere for you to explore intimacy with another person. There is nothing unusual or wrong about it being darker in some places. That is just how skin works for lots of people, so it isn't something you have to put a lot of effort into fixing.

If your partner did expect totally uniform skin and made you feel bad about it, that would reflect pretty poorly on him for having unrealistic standards and being unkind. But we don't know that he thinks that. Do you think you could talk to him about what has been making you feel nervous, and see what he has to say? What makes you feel like your skin has to be this way?

[F3ar_bellx]

Hello Latha, Thank you for answering.

I have talked to him about it, and he has been very kind and talked to me about how he will give me time to choose when I want him to do it. And the second is that I've always been insecure about my inner thighs since I was younger because I always had dark spots there, and every time I wanted to wear swimsuits, I would always try not to show my legs and always wear shorts to cover myself up to make sure people didn't see. But it's an ongoing thing, and I've been trying to be happy about my own body and i feel it will be a project to be better and happier in my own skin.

[mikky]

Hey there, hope it's okay to jump in!
It's great that he's been kind about this. Building confidence and self acceptance is definitely an ongoing project for most of us, but one that is very rewarding! And one of those rewards often is closeness and comfort with others. It might be helpful to remember that he also just has a normal body- I'm sure there are things he is also insecure about.

[F3ar_bellx]

Hi Mikky!
It's totally okay to jump in!
Yes, it's very true about all of us having an ongoing project to be better and feel more confident. We have talked more about it, and I feel lighter about it as he has opened up about how he feels about and other things he feels insecure about himself. Hopeful we get to the point where we are both comfortable and able to take this next step.

[maille]

Hi there!

I am so glad the advice you have gotten here has been helpful! I am also so glad that you have someone you are seeing that you are able to open up with.

Let us know if you need any more advice or help!