Can’t orgasm or get release?

[Happyunicorn]

Hi I’m a 18 year old female and I often masturbate and can get wet and stuff but I don’t think I’ve ever orgasmed but maybe have got close, I can kinda feel the build up and like I’m close but than everything just gets either too sensitive or idk but I can’t keep going but I don’t feel anything good like I just have to give up even though I still feel the need for a release idk if that makes sense. I’ve tried to get sex toys to help me achieving a release but I still can’t seem to. Is something wrong with me or am I doing something wrong? I’m wondering if having actual sex will be good for me or if I’ll never achieve a release:/. Sorry if this is weird!

[char]

Hi Happyunicorn, welcome to the boards!

I'd like to clarify some things from your post. When you recognize that you're close to orgasming, can you describe what is happening that everything becomes too sensitive for you? Additionally, how would you describe your typical environment when masturbating, and do you think it could play a part in your ability to make masturbation feel good? This could be the room you masturbate in, the lighting, the sounds, the people you may live with, your mood, and so on.

When folks come to us talking about not being able to orgasm, often the thing that prevents from doing so is because they focus too much on being able to orgasm. While orgasm can be great, it's totally okay to have sex--solo or partnered--that is centered around making yourself feel good without a specific end goal. Would you say this is something you can relate to?

[Happyunicorn]

Hi thanks for the reply!

When I say everything gets to sensitive I mean like I can’t keep doing what I’m doing, I go for stimulating my clit to feel good and it mostly does and than it kinda feels to much like I can’t keep going which I thought maybe means I’m close but because I can’t keep going I’m not sure so I just stop and always feel unsatisfied.

I am definitely in the mood when I do this but I think possibly the environment isn’t the best as I live with 2 roommates and while I have my own room the walls are very thin so I do have a fear of being heard and maybe that’s my problem?

I do think I used to have the goal of orgasm but now it’s more so just wanting to feel good and get a release and maybe that’s the same thing. But I basically just rub until I can’t than give up and go on with my day unsatisfied. Maybe I’m just someone who can’t orgasm ?

[Heather]

Hi there, Happyunicorn.

That feeling of overstimulation is certainly something that often won't feel good to push past. My suggestion is to try and avoid it by focusing on a larger area of your genitals (and the rest of your body) so that you don't have that one small area, and one so packed with bundles of nerve endings so close together, get overstimulated in the first place. You might try takijg more time, even, leading up to things before you even touch yourself there so that by the time you do, you're already very aroused and potentially much closer to orgasm.

Are you able not to worry about being heard? For instance, can you accept that everyone masturbates, so it's okay you are? Too, chances are awfully good no one will hear you or, if they do, will automatically know what they are hearing.

For the record, it's very unlikely you just can't orgasm. What's much more likely is that you just still need some time to figure out what gets you there and what gets in the way of you getting there. Don't fret!