Seeking advices :was it sexual abuse?

[Chococat]

Hi,I'm new to this forum and I wanted to tell my story. I 'm 16 and I have a relationship with a 17 years old boy. We met about two years ago and we started dating about a year and a half ago. I was his first time and he was mine. He always seemed so sweet and kind,he was so protective with me and often reminded me that I'm love and that I'm beautiful. After about 8 months into the relationship ,we were in his friend's garage , we were having sex but I didn't want to,I don't remember why. I didn't say no ,I only started crying (I know, it's pathetic) . After he came he cuddled me and tried to cheer me up. Last week happened something similar that left me really traumatised. We were in the woods and he asked me for sex ,I didn't want to but I didn't want to disappoint him either so we settled down to watch a porn to see if my desire grow. It did not grow ,but he fucked me anyway. This time I told him to stop,but he didn't listen to me. But I didn't do anything else aside from this. After this happened he told me that he was disgusted with himself and comforted me and told me he was sorry. We are still together but he promised me he will change. Any thougths ?

[Heather]

Chococat: I'm so, so sorry that -- yes, this absolutely has been abuse and assault -- this boy has assaulted you twice now. But I'm very glad you've found us and that you're here.

Crying instead of saying no isn't pathetic: it's a common response in this kind of situation, and you are not the only person who has responded this way during a sexual assault by a long shot. People respond in all kinds of ways when sexual abuse or assault are happening -- crying, freezing, fawning, fighting, agreeing because they think it feels safest, you name it -- and it can be particularly confusing when it's happening with someone we trust.

There's a lot to talk about here, but before anything else, I want to make sure we help you stay safe from here on out. This person is absolutely not safe for you to be alone with, and they have shown you that clearly His actions say much more than his words. Ideally, I'd strongly suggest you break up with him and not even be in anymore contact with him, but at the very least, for now, can you make sure you are never alone with him again?

[Chococat]

I will see him again tomorrow . I know him and I know his background so I feel safe seeing him tomorrow, we are going to meet in a public space. I don't think I will break up with him,because aside from what happened we are fine and I still belive that he can change, but if he won't change I will leave him . ( Sorry for my english, but it's not my first language)

[Sofi]

I know you want to see him, but I really have to suggest at the very least not to go anywhere alone with him and stay in public if you are going to see him. He has shown you he isn't safe to be around. I know it might be confusing because you feel like you know him and you want to trust him, but what he did was assault, and anyone who assaults anyone isn't a safe person to be around, especially if you're who they assaulted already. I'm so sorry you're in this situation, I know it's hard. If what he had done was less severe/not assault or abuse, I would understand seeing if he can change...but given what happened, I really don't think it's a good idea for you to continue being with him. We just want what's best for you, and most importantly, we want you to be safe. And this guy has proven he isn't safe.

How do you feel hearing that? Do you still think you will hang out with him tomorrow? We're here to talk if you want to process what happened more, and we can help you come up with a plan to safely avoid him and take care of yourself. <3