Struggling to mastrubate

[tonytonymoni]

I am like 90% sure I have never cummed in my life before and at this point ive been trying for like a whole year now and my situation, I think, might be a bit unique because I have 4 siblings and I share a room with my sister who is older than me by one year and when my dad works from home his "office" is literally the room next door and so the only times i have are like when hes in meetings or maybe if im really desperate Ill do it at night when my sister is sleeping and my parents dont want me to listen or watch or read any explicit stuff which I also dont want to but when im horny and i cant stop being horny it like the feeling overtakes me and i listen to to it anyway and then i feel even more guilty because if im not even finishing why do it at all and recently Ive started to suddenly get really sensitive and then i just end up like stopping for a whole bit and then the feeling comes back and ive been pressing down to hard on my clit so now sometimes it hurts and im too scared to finger myself as well because i tried once and it hurt so all I can do is rub my clit cause i dont even have time to explore my own body just because it dd be to risky with my situation and all. My parents are also very protective of my technology. I also forgot to say that when i masturbate i sometimes pee and after i try once or twice or for a wile my pelvis area or like right above my pubic hair feels weird and kind of tingly im sorry for the way i describe things im autistic and ives just got diagnosed and so maybe that has to do with something?????

[amber]

Hi tonytonymoni!

Sounds like you've been struggling with these feelings for a bit and have even reached out about similar concerns on the boards before. I want to start by saying that what you are experiencing is very normal. Especially as a young person. Finding out what we enjoy in terms of masturbation is all about exploring and can often take time. You are discovering new sensations and feelings for the first time and also figuring out if you like them (like the feeling like you need to pee or tingly feeling around your pelvis). Are these feelings making you uncomfortable or are they just new?

Here are an article and advice column I think could be helpful -- Quickies: Masturbation ,
Why Does Masturbation Feel Weird?

Orgasm is a type of sexual response that people often experience but not all the time. When we put pressure on or prioritize orgasm, our bodies often won't. This is because our minds are our biggest sex organ. Stress, worry, pressure, are all things that make orgasm and also sexual pleasure in general less likely. The feeling that you have little privacy is causing you stress which is likely making it difficult to feel good. Does that make sense? Have you ever thought about other places where you can have privacy (like a shower)?

Here is another article on sexual response which goes into more detail -- Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

[tonytonymoni]

The feeling of pee isnt new anymore but the tingly feeling is and it just feels new and like my familys bathrooms are small and we only use one shower because the one in our downstairs basement is messed up and filled with bugs and we dont where or how they get in there so the shower isnt good and like it just feels like i have no privacy at all and its just starting to get really frustrating and being autistic makes it hard to commmunicate how i feel properly and i want to talk to somebody abput this but just not my parents and going to the doctors is not a easy or casual thing in my family like we only go if health problems start reoccuring usually and its just always expensive as well. Oh, and i already read those before and they didnt really clear up anything it was not useful for me

[amber]

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed in this way.

Does this new tingly feeling cause you pain or discomfort? From what I am hearing, these sensations sound very typical and are not signs of health concerns.

Having a lack of privacy is hard, especially as a teen. It sounds like you are trying to navigate the spaces and times when you can have bits of privacy already, which is great. Overall it sounds like these struggling are boiling over into some greater frustrations.

What would be most helpful to you, from us? Do you just want to rant about your feelings? Do you want to talk more about sexual response?