I really wish I was born female/AFAB

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
Asking Queries
not a newbie
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:15 am
Awesomeness Quotient: I like rocks
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/they
Sexual identity: Transfem, lesbian/bisexual
Location: Western United States

I really wish I was born female/AFAB

Unread post by Asking Queries »

Content warning: gender dysphoria, references to medical and other trauma and harm

Hi everyone,

I’m on day 3 of my pseudo-period (what I call my period-like symptoms that started happening after I started taking HRT), and I’m really wishing it was a real one. I’m super dysphoric about being born male/not being female. I also forgot to take my estrogen this morning, which hasn’t helped.
I’m not gonna list every element of my dysphoria, because some of it is more from trauma than my body, and some of it is just super uncomfortable to write about, but here’s some of it:
  • I wish I directly understood what it’s like to be AFAB (periods, exams, etc). I feel guilty that I haven’t had the (horribly common) bad experiences associated with that, and more generally that I don’t know what it’s like for my mom and so many of my friends.
  • I wish I had the capability to get pregnant and give birth to kids (and then be a mom to them). I don’t know if I’d ever actually use that capability, and I’d definitely want to get pregnant though IVF or some other reproductive technology, but I really wish I could. I got dysphoric about a month ago that I don’t benefit from health insurance coverage of birth control meds/devices.
  • I wish I got “real” (bleeding) periods. I don’t wish for them in the “that sounds fun!” sense (I’ve been told quite a bit that it is anything but), but in the “I’m dysphoric and guilty that I don’t experience this” sense.
I feel super “male” privileged to be wishing for these things/a female body, although I’ve never heard a (cis) guy want these things or be guilty about them, lol. I want to be very clear: if these things make you miserable, or you’ve been hurt because of any of it, that is bad, and I don’t want that for you. The way society harms AFAB people is unacceptable, and I’m aware of that even—especially—when I’m most dysphoric.

- AQ

PS: I’m aware that connecting a person being AFAB with them getting periods and being able to have kids is dubious, but I’m not sure of a better way to describe my dysphoria.
“… we need to recognize that adolescents, like all human beings, need strong social bonds. To provide youth with such bonds—at an interpersonal and societal level—is the work of us all.” - Amy T. Schalet, Not Under My Roof.
Top
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Ask Us!”