Body Image

[ColorMeStoked]

Hi there, I am new to posting on the boards, so I hope I'm in the right place.
I'm 18 female and am about to go to college. Recently I've had a lot of people (young and old) commenting on my body/how skinny I am, or telling me how young I look. I had someone who is my SAME AGE tell me she thought I was 14! There was also someone my age who told me that I "just don't look like a very sexual person". And I was called shrimpy.
I know I carry myself like I'm 18, but during first impressions, it is very awkward to have people assume I'm young. It leads to other insecurities (like, what if no one my age is attracted to me because they think I'm a child? People assume that I'm "innocent"/ignorant about things because of my appearance as well).
I'm just not sure what to do about all of this, and it has really been bothering me.

[Sofi]

Hi there, welcome to the boards!

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, and that you were called such a childish name. Being skinny and looking young is not a bad thing, just like the opposite isn’t a bad thing. The concept of even “looking your age” is strange because some people have fully grey hair by the time they turn 30, and some people don’t get a single wrinkle until after 50. Of course these are random examples but my point is we all look different AND we all look our age because we ARE our age. The comments you’ve been getting are inappropriate and you’re valid to feel uncomfortable with it.

Are these mostly people you see at school and such? I ask because hopefully once you go off to college, you’ll get a fresh start to meet new people and not have to keep seeing these people. I get your fear of people your age not being attracted to you because you look young, but like I said, you are your age at the end of the day. When someone meets you and finds out your age, they’ll build attraction to you or not based on the age you are. Plus, it will be even easier to avoid the wrong guesses and assumptions in college considering there are very few 14 year olds in college, and everyone understands most people they meet are at least 17. Do you think that will help you feel a bit less insecure about looking young? And how can we best support you with this?

[ColorMeStoked]

The comments were from a lot of different people. Some my age, who I had just met outside of a school setting. Some were adults (one was basically a stranger). I think being in an environment where everyone is assumed to be 17+ will definitely help me feel less insecure about looking younger. I think I also feel disappointed in myself and in others because I have put a lot of work into dressing and styling myself in a way that makes me feel comfortable and beautiful, so when other people criticize it or imply that it looks childish, I feel like I need to change. Even though I like the way I look! It’s hard not to feel self-conscious when people talk about how “young” and “innocent” I look allllllll the time.
Thank you for the reply!

[Heather]

If it helps, while I deeply object to the idea that looking young = looking good, I find that this kind of thing gets a lot easier as you get older. I'm someone who heard a lot of the same thing you did when I was in my teens and 20s, but when you're in your 40s, 50s and up, this hits different. <3