my ex came back and now i don’t know what to do

[PomPom]

so. recently i started talking with new people more, and reconnect with an old acquaintance, a girl we went on a date once in january, i’ll call her L. so we started going out more, and she’s very sweet and i can feel that she’s 100% more stable partner than my ex. she treats me well, even sent me flowers to my work, just to make me happy. she’s also more fearless ( or careless?) like she doesn’t take away her hand off my shoulder when someone passes us, and it’s somehow makes me scared and secured at the same time. in a way i think she can “protect” me, though she doesn’t have to of course, but it nice to have a partner who will tell random men to get off, and won’t just stay there with their mouth shut. we don’t kiss now, because i don’t want things going too fast.
and so there’s my ex..she came back and we started talking. it’s low-key was also because of my own actions because i told her that i’m hurt when she’s reasonably telling me that i go out on dates with weirdos that’s gonna ruin my life (it’s not about L) i told her that i’m hurt when she’s saying that, and why does she want to get into my life if she doesn’t want to get back together. she told me she does and so we’re talking again. she tells me that she’s changing, and while she maybe does, it’s still her. and i dont know what to do.

i don’t have deeply romantic feelings neither for my ex or L (yet) but i know that i can’t keep both of them, and my ex won’t let me. i don’t know what to do. on one side i’m afraid of going back to my ex and every time we go on a date something will happen that make me remember that she’s still she. and on the other side i’m afraid of letting her go. it’s this paralyzing fear that makes me want to run in the woods. i know yhat i don’t have to get into romantic relationships with anyone now, but if i wanna talk further with them i can’t keep both. i don’t even know how to decide and what to do. normally i would do a tarot reading but my ex asked me not to use tarot while thinking about our future so i don’t and it’s making my life harder.