Never been very happy with myself

[Seraph]

Apologies if this doesnt fit this board but there is something thats has been bothering me for a while.

I have never been quite happy with how I look. Ive always had the impression that I am incredibly ugly and ive always hated looking at my own reflection. Ive also always been very unhappy with having body hair. I never liked my facial hair and having leg and arm hair just always bothered me.

Another thing I dislike is what I wear. This is a bit different because it is obviously not an innate part of me but ive never really liked how I dress, but ive also never been a big fan of men's fashion in general (to be fair I lack the confidence to try anything that isnt a simple plain t shirt and normal pants)

If possible, is there any advice for somebody like me who has never been happy with how they look or dress?

[char]

Hi Seraph. We can discuss this in the boards just fine; after all, how we feel about ourselves (including how we look) is also a part of our sexuality, as you can read here: Sexuality: WTF Is It, Anyway?. We'll let you know if we can't answer certain questions!

When you mentioned you've always felt that you were "ugly," do you think you're able to pinpoint what makes you think so? Have you also heard/seen people discussing the physical traits you have as "undesirable"? The same goes to the way you dress: what makes you dislike your own style? What kind of clothing style do you gravitate towards?

For people raised and socialized as boys, there can be a lot of expectations surrounding how they should present themselves. Sadly, due to misogyny and queerphobia, these expectations can be especially limiting. In many communities, boys and men aren't allowed to look "effeminate," and that often means putting more attention to what they're wearing. Would you say this mindset is common where you are in the US? If so, do you think it's affected how you think you should dress?

With these questions in mind, perhaps we can discuss how you can feel more confident with yourself. It's okay to not feel entirely positive about ourselves all the time, but the least we can do is to take care of it in the ways we can, you know?

[Seraph]

Thanks for responding!!

I can never really pinpoint what about me makes me feel so undesirable all the time I have just always had the feeling that I look "Off" or wrong and it never really goes away. My usual outfits are mostly just plain colored t-shirts and pants (sometimes a graphic tee if I feel like it). I never really wear shorts because of how much I dislike my leg hair. To be honest, I don't really know what I would like to dress like more so I just want to dress in something that is not boring and plain but I fear that I will just end up looking worse if I try something new. I've always been somewhat jealous of clothes made for women tbh I just feel like they are more expressive.

I don't live in a SUPER conservative place however I have a feeling that if I were to dress in a way that isn't in line with expectations for men I would have been bullied at school, if that makes sense. My family is fairly progressive so I doubt that I would have gotten a mindset like you susgested from my homelife.