What are your opinions on sexual jokes?

[Sage]

I have heard from my sex-ed teacher that sexual jokes contribute to unhealthy relationships. That’s what she thinks about sexual jokes. What do you think about them?

[Sam W]

Hi Sage,

That's one of those things where what I, or that sex ed teacher, think about them matters way less than the comfort an individual person feels about them; one relationship may have partners who like to joke about sex, another may have people who are really uncomfortable with those kind of jokes.

I don't really agree with the statement that sexual jokes are a red flag because humor, even sexual humor, is such a broad category that the statement tells me very little about the actual behaviors going on in a relationship. If someone is making sexual jokes at the expense of their partner, that's not a great sign. Neither is someone making sexual jokes when a partner has told them it makes them uncomfortable. But that's very different from, say, someone who occasionally make's sex-based puns or people who find joking with each other during sex fun.