How do I feel better about my labia

[TortoiseJump]

I have what I guess I have learnt is an outie and lately it has been bothering me more and more. Basically since I started periods. How do I feel better about it?

[CaitlinEve]

The journey to self-acceptance can be hard, but it's definitely worth it! I suppose my first question is what specifically bothers you about having an 'outie'? Does your dislike stem from worrying about how you and your genitalia are/will be perceived, or does it connect more towards your own perception of yourself?

[TortoiseJump]

I think what bothers me is that it dangles if that makes sense? Like it looks a bit more like what I would imagine a boys genitals look like but its not. I worry if anyone saw it they would make fun of me

[CaitlinEve]

That makes sense! I know other volunteers and staff linked you some articles in your other thread about genitals, but I also want to offer you this one: Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small) . It might help you with accepting your body a little more. I wish there was something I could say or offer you that would help you accept yourself and your body, but this is something that will take time. What I can say is that anybody who would make fun of your body is not somebody who deserves you. Everybody and every body is different and that's okay; it's what makes us all unique. I guarantee there are other people with genitals that look like yours as well, even if you haven't seen them represented yet.

[Heather]

I want to be clear that inner labia almost ALWAYS stick out and dangle. In fact, when they don't -- which is most often much, much later in life, way down the road after someone has been in menopause for some years -- it often causes some troubles, so not only is this normal, it's also a good thing.

It sounds to me like you might misunderstand or not know (as it doesn't sound like you've seen many genitals, period) that this is how the labia simply are on most bodies.

[TortoiseJump]

Thank you both. I didnt know that it was that common. I just thought the normal one was the crack in the middle if that makes sense? How much hair is too much hair down below?

[KierC]

I’m glad the information they provided was helpful!

There’s no wrong or concerning amount of pubic hair to have; in fact, it’s common and healthy to have a full amount of pubic hair. In terms of how people take care of their pubic hair, that’s also very individualized. All that matters is that you feel good and comfortable with yourself. Does hearing that help a bit?

[TortoiseJump]

It does yeah thank you. To be honest besides like once sort of by accident I havent seen another female naked and have never seen a make naked even in pictures and stuff besides in biology at school which where diagrams mainly. Is it weird to be curious about it all? Theres a guy I know who I wonder and think what does he look like because I dont know what penises look like in real life and Id be too scared to look up online

[Heather]

Just a vaginal opening without any visible inner labia is actually something you'll only really see -- or where it might look like you're seeing that, even if you aren't -- in infants, much older people long post-menopause, and in sexual media where people are tucking the labia inside the vaginal opening.

And no, it isn't weird to be curious about what bodies or body parts look like! They're what we and everyone we know lives our whole lives in, after all!

Wikipedia actually has some galleries of genitals if you want to see a good array of what they can look like without winding up on porn sites (and porn often isn't the most realistic assortment, anynow).

Here's one of penises: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Cate ... an_penises
Here's one of vulvas: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Cate ... man_vulvas

[Heather]

I should add that these are all pictures of people's genitals who are fully developed adults. How the genitals of your current classmates may look would be somewhat different, especially for people with penises, who develop slower than people with vulvas do.

[TortoiseJump]

Thank you in the vulva one I saw the first one. Whats the white liquid coming from the opening?

I think penises look really interesting they seems to be lots of different shapes snd sizes. When do boys start to develop?

[Heather]

That's probably cervical discharge, something we tend to see at some points of the menstrual and fertility cycle. If not that, it might be ejaculate from a sexual partner with a penis.

Puberty for folks with a penis and testicles, on the whole, tends to start about 2-3 years later than it does for folks with a uterus and ovaries. Penis growth usually starts happening around 9-11, with more from 11-13, and is usually done by 18-21.