There's just a lot on my mind. My gender identity confuses and scares me more often than it's felt like a source of pride or something that can help connect me to myself. I don't really know what my gender is, probably some flavor of transmasc or nonbinary, maybe genderfluid, but I just don't know.
I do have some LGBTQ+/ally friends, but it's tough wondering what my "general population" straight friends will think. Same with my parents--they're so good to me and I love them a lot, and I really worry how I would cope if I ended up being trans or genderqueer and they weren't accepting. Sometimes I want to just rip the bandaid off and tell them, but I know that's a bad idea.
Then there's the fact that I've never had a relationship before. I really would like one, but I wish I didn't. I don't feel attractive. I don't even know if I could be a good partner--I want so much love, but can I give it? I'm honestly kind of scared of dating. I want to have sex one day, but it seems like a silly thing to want when I'm still trying to work out my gender, when I'm still trying to figure out why being close to someone is so scary. I wish I could just, like, turn those feelings off.
Then there’s work, trying to keep up with self care, I'm a grad student right now, trying to pitch in and be helpful at home, and also being social and going out with friends too.
On top of that, my sister is getting married. I'm doing bridesmaid stuff and writing a speech and it's just making me realize that (although I am extremely happy for her! She deserves it!), I'm very far from any of that. Plus, you know, the usual "I'm lowkey queer and trying to make sense of a very un-queer set of formalities" thing...
I've been posting a lot online recently, I guess looking for support. I definitely need better coping mechanisms to reassure myself, but by the end of the day I'm so emotionally exhausted that I convince myself the answers to my turmoil lie somewhere in the internet (/s, lmao).
Just having a hard time
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We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.
Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.
Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
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braveSwordfish
- not a newbie
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2026 12:41 am
- Age: 25
- My pronouns: she/her
- Location: USA
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