my ex’s friend

[avaiara]

hi, okay so i’m in a bit of a dilemma.

i was dating my ex for a few months, and the other day i told him that we should go on a break and stop seeing each other for a bit. i basically told him i needed/wanted space, but that i want things to work out.

ive noticed lately that i’m attracted to his friend, and normally i wouldn’t think much of it but since my ex is best friends with MY best friends boyfriend, we all hang out. (all of us being: me, my best friend, her boyfriend, my ex, and two of their friends)

his friend is just the type to hookup, which i don’t have a problem with because seeing as i want things to work between my ex and i, i don’t want a new relationship. i was thinking about maybe “seeing” him, but i’ve been thinking about wether or not things would be weird when my ex and i get back together.

i know friend wouldnt say anything, and if he ever decided to, it would be when my ex and i were done for good. am i a bad person if i go through with it or for even wanting it? should i do it?

[Heather]

I don't think any of this is about being a bad person (or a good one).

I do think that hooking up with or starting to date an exes best friend RIGHT after you've split or taken a break would be a poor choice, though. That feels very much to me like a lack of healthy boundaries on your part.

Do you want to talk more about this and dig a bit deeper?