Family issues

[Shreklover]

My mom is abusing me she has physically and emotionally and verbally abuse maybe sexually. I need desprate help as she is transphobic and threantening to hosptialize me over a threat i made to her im unwell and cps refuses to do anything im tired of nit being accepted im tired of the 8 mental disorders she has given me i want to go somewhere where i am loved i want my real parents im currently collecting money to transition and survive on my own once i reach 18 it is impossible for me to get a job until next year when i am 18 i have apllied to over 50 places with no luck. Pray that i don't die without freedom. I am currently sitting in my aunties house trying to figure out what to do

[Shreklover]

Im gonna post this somewhere else

[Shreklover]

Im reposting this to get a quicker answer.
My mom is abusing me she has physically and emotionally and verbally abuse maybe sexually. I need desprate help as she is transphobic and threantening to hosptialize me over a threat i made to her im unwell and cps refuses to do anything im tired of nit being accepted im tired of the 8 mental disorders she has given me i want to go somewhere where i am loved i want my real parents im currently collecting money to transition and survive on my own once i reach 18 it is impossible for me to get a job until next year when i am 18 i have apllied to over 50 places with no luck. Pray that i don't die without freedom. I am currently sitting in my aunties house trying to figure out what to do

[Shreklover]

Is my post invisible this is terrible i dont want to live but im going too

[lilikoi]

Hi there Shreklover,

I am so sorry to hear that you are managing this! For starters, you do not need to put up with abuse from someone so there are ways out of your current situation. There is hope! Unfortunately, our team is fairly small and cannot respond to posts immediately. Given that (and our lack of mental health care training), we encourage users with urgent mental health needs to use a mental health specific resource for immediate support. Here are those numbers.

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
SAMHSA’s National Help Line: 1-800-662-4357

You deserve to feel safe and loved. In the coming days while you navigate your next steps, we can chat about the transition between 17 and 18 if that's helpful. Is your aunty someone you feel safe with? Are there other adults or friends in your life who make you feel safe?

Also, wanted to let you know that I merged the topics and kept them in the same forum so our team can follow the thread easily.

[Shreklover]

I dont have family that will help but i do have solution. I can seek emergency emancipation and go to a youth homeless shelter and hopefully get a job or go to a group home

[Heather]

Hi there, shreklover. Before I get into anything else, I want and need to address a couple of things.

The first is that you appear to be using a VPN sometimes when you post here, which, as the user agreement everyone agrees to when registering here says, isn't okay to use when using our direct services. I understand that some people have compelling reasons to want to use there, but given what we do here, and that VPNs are most often used by people here who are engaging in some kind of fraud or want to cover something predatory they are trying to do, we have to insist that people using our message boards or chat NOT use VPNs. Please understand that if you keep posting using a VPN, we'll unfortunately need to suspend your use of these services. While it is intended for short questions and answers, not conversations about big topics like this, if you want to use one of our services without using an IP at all, our text service might be your best choice. You do have to be in the United States to use it, but if you're in Florida, that obviously won't be an issue.

I also want to make sure you also know that the reason this post wasn't answered right away is because there were not staff here to answer it at the time. Posting something more doesn't get anything answered faster, especially when the issue is that no one was here to see the post to answer it. We are not always staffed for our direct services 24/7, so sometimes, you (and anyone) will need to wait, which is why something else we mention in our user agreement is that while we aim to answer all posts within 24 hours of posting, we don't guarantee an answer in any amount of time here.

When someone posts about being in abuse, the first thing we always want and need to do is to do what we can to help assure you can get away from it and be safe for it, even if it's just for long enough to get some help, especially when someone is posting things like a concern they may die or hurt themselves. In the event this is the kind of threat you're talking about making to your mother, we might also want to talk about why she is responding with talk of hospitalization to this kind of threat. If not, it might also be helpful to know what you mean when you say you threatened your mother.

You mention an aunt you were with last night, and you have mentioned a boyfriend in previous posts as well. Can you stay with your aunt or your boyfriend and his family while you seek help for the abuse you're reporting happening in your home? Can one or both of them make a call to the DCF for you, so you are not the only one reporting your abuse? More than one call from one person often changes how social services responds to reports of abuse. You say they haven't been of help, but since it sounds like they have been involved, were you ever assigned a case worker?

If you can't stay with your aunt or boyfriend and his family for now, you seem to know of a youth shelter near you: can you get yourself there today? Emancipation is not only a long process, rather than something that can happen fast -- Florida is a state that, like many, doesn't have emergency emancipation processes -- it doesn't sound like you will likely meet the legal criteria for emancipation, which includes proving that you can financially support yourself.

You mention something about your real parents: is that not who you are living with? Is this a foster or adoptive family situation in which you're experiencing abuse?

[Shreklover]

1. Im not using a vpn anymore
2. Its ok if i wasnt posted right away i was going through my emotions.
3. Sometimes i just make vague threats to hurt my mother when she plans on hurting me i never go through with it
4. Im not eith my aunt right now the situation calmed down
5. I cant do much with my boyfriend either I don't want to talk about it
6. They are my real parents i just feel like their not
7. Im going to find a group home and i called 3-5 youth shelters and i cant get any help that my mother allow
8. Just a heads up sometimes i say things that aren't true because i have bad memory due to trauma or are much deeper then im letting on i try to be vague because i dont feel comfortable explaining the whole situation.
Finally the question I have now is mostly answered but do you know of any group homes?

[Heather]

Okay.

So, one thing I will ask of you when you're posting here is to try really hard not to post anything that isn't factual, like suggesting your parents aren't your parents.

Getting mixed messages like that makes it very hard for us to tell what's actually going on with someone, which also makes it much harder for us to help. It doesn't sound like the things you have said here that aren't true aren't about not remembering, and if you don't feel comfortable talking about something, instead we need you not to talk about that rather than say things that aren't true. On top of telling the truth being another part of our user agreement, we also just need you to remember that you're talking to other people and asking for help, and we really can't work well with people who are telling us things that aren't true.

If that's not something that you think you can do here, or you think you are too deeply traumatized to know the difference between the truth and facts, we won't be able to work with you, due to our needs and limitations as a service. Instead, what we'd suggest is getting you connected with a social worker or therapist to give you the kind of help and support you're seeking here, since those kinds of helpers can work better with that situation, especially since they'd generally be working with you in person, so would have visual cues about any dissociation happening with you we can't as an online service.

Suffice it to say, threatening to hurt someone isn't okay, whether your mother is doing it or you are, and I think that's extra important for you to know because it can get you in very hot water and keep you from help you might need. For example, if you threaten people in a group home, you likely will not be allowed to stay there anymore. If you threaten a parent or someone else, they may make a police or other report on you.

You don't need a parent's permission to go to a youth shelter, that's not how that system works. Instead, that's something where you would either be sent there by social services or where, in the case of drop-in shelters, you would just go, and then be classified as a runaway. How that goes after that depends: often, that would put you in the social services system (again, can you tell me if you were ever assigned a caseworker?) who would determine if your home is safe to go back to or, if not, who would start work on finding you foster care or a group home. Some drop-in shelters don't do reporting, but those kinds also often don't offer overnight stays or long-term stays.

Group homes for minors aren't generally places that are open to the public (in part for the safety of the young people in them), but places where young people are usually placed by social services, so I'm confused about your calling some. I am certainly happy to look at what youth shelters or other kinds of related youth housing is available in your area, but I'd need to have a better idea of where you are to do that, like your zip code.

[Shreklover]

Ok ok i understand.
I do use vpns for other websites.
Im just in alot of pain I'll contact social services and dcf thanks

[Heather]

I'm sorry that you're in pain.

This page should give you the different numbers that will connect you to the department of children and family services in Florida: https://www.myflfamilies.com/contact-us

I'd suggest calling the abuse hotline to report any abuse, and/or the youth care office if you have general questions about things like your options for housing outside your home. They also may be able to get your a caseworker and/or a referral to a social worker or therapist, which it sounds like you could very much use. <3