How to have a vaginal orgasm???

[Tealscarf]

I think I've been mistaking squirting for an orgasm, or is it an orgasm? How do vaginal orgasms feel? Have i already achieved them? If not, how do I achieve them? I know most orgasms can be done my stimulating the clit but I'd like to experience vaginal ones.

[Heather]

Hi again, tealscarf.

So, the thing is, there's no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. Or a clitoral orgasm. Or a breast orgasm, a nose orgasm, an elbow orgasm, or any other kind of body part + orgasm. These ideas are very outdated, and in sex education and sexology, we have known that for a long time. It's why, when you read our content about orgasm on the site here -- do you know how to search for content on the site for answers? If not, holler and I will show you how to do it best -- you won't ever hear us using those frameworks and you'll even find us correcting people who do in some of the advice columns.

Orgasm is something that, instead, happens primarily in our brains and central nervous systems. We can feel the effects of orgasms in some of our body parts, and we can experience orgasm due to stimulation of any number of body parts, but it's the stimulation that tends to feel the most different, in terms of where and how we do that, rather than the orgasm, exactly. And no matter what, orgasm isn't something that happens genitally, even though we can feel some of it in those parts when it happens.

That all said, orgasm can feel different if, for example, someone is only focusing on their external clitoris than if and when they are also adding things like vaginal and internal clitoral stimulation. So, if and when you want to see how that might feel for you, you do that by adding stimulation to those areas, that's all, be it with a toy or a partner (one's own fingers often aren't the best way for vaginal stimulus, because the fact that your hands and fingers are attached to an arm that is limited due to being attached to the side of you and only being so long), depending on what you want and what your opportunities are.

Make sense?

If not, here are a few articles that talk about this or explain the way this all really works, rather than using outdated ideas like "vaginal orgasm" or "clitoral orgasm':
• With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body -- this explains the role of the brain and central nervous system in orgasm and why they have the starring roles
• Intercourse questions and answers to the third power -- this one talks about how these aren't accurate frameworks
• The Clitoris, the Vagina and Orgasm: Feelings and Frameworks - so does this one
• I can't orgasm from intercourse and it's ruining my relationship!

[Tealscarf]

Oh alright thank you. I haven't read the articles. I was hoping i could orgasm a different way rather than my usual way. I'm also confused whether the squirting is part of release or not, or is it an additional thing and not part of the actual climax?

I'd like to experience a sort of fullness from internal release, I want to know if that's possible and different ways to achieve that. I won't call it orgasm but I'm looking for release from internal stimulation

Is squirting part of that release?

[Latha]

Hi there, Tealscarf

Let us know if you have any questions after reading the articles--I'm glad to be reminded of them myself, because I think the way they discuss these frameworks is useful.

Reading your post, it sounds like you are thinking of orgasm and release as two different things. Is that right?

In the way we usually think about it here, a sense of release is one of the defining features of an orgasm. So, just as we couldn't give you a set of instructions that would guarantee an orgasm, we unfortunately can't tell you how to a achieve release from internal stimulation.

Squirting or ejaculation isn't a standard part of release/orgasm/climax--it can happen along it but it can also happen separately. Our article on the sexual response cycle has a section on orgasm that might help clarify exactly what it is, in case you would like to read it, and we also have a piece that explains squirting.

While internal stimulation and insertion can give a feeling of fullness, I wouldn't think of that as a special kind of release, and as Heather said with vaginal and clitoral orgasms, I don't think we can draw a distinction between a specific internal and external release. Orgasms may feel different from time to time and based on what we do leading up to them, but we can't really categorize them based on anatomy or location. Indeed, as Heather said, orgasm and all the other feelings we associate with sex happen primarily in the nervous system, particularly in the brain.

If you're looking to orgasm in a different way than usual, your best bet might be to experiment with variety in the way you have sex--you can let curiosity guide you. Does that make sense?

[Tealscarf]

Oh, alright. If we cant call it orgasms then what do I call this-? It's still called that same thing right?
I've read through the article
I'm still supposed to call it an orgasm right? Even if it is from the brain instead of gentials?

Can any sense of fulfillment or satisfaction be called an orgasm? From the article I've read it doesn't seem orgasm is something that is universally classified, as it's written that it's different for everyone .

But other than that my doubts are solved, thank you :3

[amber]

Hi Tealscarf ,

From my understanding what you have been describing is orgasm. Like Latha said, the idea of a "release" is a common feature/feeling of orgasm. I do see orgasm as an aspect of sexual satisfaction but definitely not the entire picture. Does that answer your questions?